Guest Post: Epic Boracay Lambchops

For the first BaconTunaMelt guest post, we are honored to have as our first guest writer, blogger extraordinaire and overall awesome person (he told me to say that), Mr. Comicology. Read his review of the nomz from Epic restaurant in Boracay (where he was last weekend, enjoying the sun, the sand, and the beach while I toil away in the cold here in France ^_~).
This dude likes corn.
And I now (temporarily) hand over the blogging reigns to that guy in picture (I’m now having doubts about this decision.).
Check it out, folks. Comicology is taking over the nom channel for one day. Do not worry, we will not fill this page with too much fucking profanity. We’ll keep it clean. 

Anyway, here’s a little bit of a backgrounder for you guys. I was at Boracay last weekend, along with Hannah Villasis, Ferdz Decena, Dodge Ronquillo (who wanted to make man-love to me) and Patricia Hizon to test out SMART’s latest innovation, Smart Evolution LTE. More on that on Comicology soon.

Besides the gorgeous beach, the amazing LTE speeds and the overpriced EVERYTHING, one of the best things to experience in Boracay is the food. The thing with that place is that it’s gotten mind-bogglingly commercialized, and businesses need a way to stand out and leave a mark. Most restaurants do that by offering unique ambiance and some kick ass food but I had no idea what was in store for me.

And so this is Christmas…
One of the classier places to eat at would be this restaurant called “Epic.” When I heard reservations were made to eat at “Epic,” I had envisioned myself dining atop a mountain, riding a brontosaurus, using a broadsword as a plate, while being waited on by flying mermaids. Alas, this was not the case. However, it is interesting to note that Epic (or epic if you’re into branding) is conveniently located right at the mouth of D’Mall, very close to the beach. 

Because they like to keep things chill in Boracay, the place had huge doors that weren’t closed. Therefore, there was no air conditioning. That’s part of the charm of the place, though, as it is with the entire island. I bet a fancy schmancy restaurant with air conditioning wouldn’t do as well.

Upon entering the place, you’d see that everything’s fixed up like you were to dine like royalty. This is especially true when you see their prices, and you’d think only royalty could afford to eat there. Then again, this is Boracay we’re talking about -everything is overpriced.

Epic table napkin is… epic!
That tasty little number on the plate is what Epic epically calls “Lamb Chops.” I forget the exact price but it’s in the P700-P850 range. Basically, the order is composed of two lamb chops, some mashed potatoes and slightly grilled veggies. At first, I thought “Holy shit, that price is insane” but then I took a bite.
Don’t use the veggies as a size reference. Those vegetables were the size of Shaq’s fingers
As I slid the magnificently grilled slither of lamb into my skeptical mouth, I finally realized why they called this place “epic.” 

Trivia: the word “succulent was coined only after someone tasted Epic’s lamb because the world needed a new word to describe just how fucking good it was. That brontosaurus daydream sequence I described to you a few paragraphs ago? That was SHIT compared to the actual taste of the lamb chops. The meat was juicy and moist and tender; and all that weird lamb-taste that some people don’t like was gone completely. You seriously have not lived until you’ve tasted their lamb chops. Accompanying the meat is the sauce, which tasted like a balsamic vinegar mixture. Sure, it coulda used some more mint, but I guess that’s my eighty-peso-steak low brow taste talking.

As a side dish, the mashed potaters went incredibly perfect with the chops. It was expertly seasoned, as it wasn’t too salty or anything. With the right consistency and flavor, the taste just hit the spot. It also played a vital role in keeping the lamb chops standing up, and that’s gotta count for something, right?

I couldn’t get enough of the veggies, man. Sweet, crisp and super fresh – not to mention they were Shaq finger sized. All veggie side dishes have got to prepared like that to make the world a better place.

Okay, so there you go. If you happen to find yourself at Boracay and you’ve got some extra change on you, and you want to fucking experience life, make your way to Epic. You won’t regret it.

Epic Boracay
Location: Beach front D’Mall, Boracay
Contact info: (036) 288-1466 / (036) 288-1477
Other info: Epic Boracay WebsiteEpic Boracay Official Facebook Page

Oh, but before I go and hand over this blog back to the former management, I have a message for you.

Never forget…

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Bim is a socially adjusted geek with an unhealthy obsession for burgers. He writes about burgers on BaconTunaMelt and the rest of his geekeries on GeekOut.ph. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter if you like high fives and nonsense.

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  1. J P Hays

    Looks good. Looks like it has plenty of spice and a decent layer of fat. Sadly, it's next to impossible to get good quality lamb in the States, so I just haven't bothered looking. It's good to know about that place for when I'm there!

  2. abumelt

    @JP Hays: Besides the lamb, you have to go to Boracay for the experience as well. It's one of those places you shouldn't miss when you come to the Philippines. 🙂


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