A Noob With A Food Processor

Since being gifted a mini food processor, I’ve been itching to try it out. As someone with meh kitchen skills, I was looking for a relatively easy recipe to try out. For one, I’ve never worked with a food processor my entire life. There would be noob mistakes for sure, so I needed a recipe to learn techniques from.

Copycat KFC coleslaw

As the first experiment, I decided to make coleslaw, a food hack of the KFC kind. The gifter of the said food processor is a big fan of KFC coleslaw, I thought it a fitting tribute.

Copycat KFC Coleslaw (a modified version of this recipe)
3 cups chopped cabbage 1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup shredded carrots 3 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp minced onion 1/4 cup milk
1 tbsp vinegar
1/4 tsp salt
dash of pepper

In a medium bowl, mix the mayonnaise, sugar, milk, vinegar, salt, and pepper and set aside. Next, wash the cabbage, carrots, and onion, and cut it up into smaller blocks to fit the food processor container. If they don’t all fit, set aside half the cabbage and pulse until nearly evenly chopped up. Add the rest of the cabbage and pulse until it’s all blended nicely, about 1 minute. Stop there.

It was around this time that my noob self decided to keep going for good measure. Don’t. Half a minute later, I realized I was overdoing it and the veggies were chopped up to nearly the texture of baby food. So just don’t.

Awesome with chicken, of course.
Awesome with chicken, of course.

Transfer the chopped up veggies into the bowl with the ingredients you mixed earlier. Cover bowl and put it in the fridge to chill before serving. Then you can go out to buy KFC and bring it home to eat with your homemade coleslaw (It makes sense to me!).

Top 3 Things I Learned
1. Fluffy stuff have to go in in batches if you have a small food processor.
2. Do not pulse too long no matter how much fun it is.
3. Small things does not equate to small mess.

Pop it all in and pulse.

After the semi-success of my copycat KFC coleslaw (it was a little on the salty side), the time was ripe for another experiment. The Internet would have you believe that pesto sauce is one of the easiest things to make if you have a food processor. Being a sheep of the Internet, I set out to get the ingredients I needed to make some armed with this recipe-

Easy Pesto Sauce (a modified version of this recipe)
3 cups basil leaves 1/4 cup EVOO
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
1/4 roasted peanuts
3 cloves of garlic
1/4 tsp salt

There really isn’t much to say here, because contrary to recipe instructions, I just dunked all ingredients minus the EVOO in the food processor bowl and pulsed to my heart’s delight. This took a little longer than the veggies from the coleslaw recipe (don’t get too excited, it’s just a minute or so more). As soon as everything is all evenly mixed, pour the contents into a bowl and mix gently with the oil. Add more if you feel like the mixture is too pasty. Now boil some pasta of your choice, toss it all together, and set on a plate. Done without much fuss!

Chilling and enjoying the fruits of labor.

Top 1 Thing I Learned From Making Your Own Nomz
1. Clean up is a b*tch.

Now all that’s left to do is to clean up the mess you made. BUT, and this is a big but, unlike store bought stuff, you know all the ingredients used to make up what’s on your plate. Worth all the its.


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